THE SHARED PAGES — FILL THESE OUT TOGETHER
Shared Page 3
The Emergency Page
This is the page you fill out hoping to never open again. Fill it out anyway.
The other two Shared Pages prevent arguments. This one is different — it exists so that nobody has to think clearly during the ten minutes when nobody can think clearly. Every answer on this page is easy to find in July and impossible to find at two in the morning in October.
Same order as the others. Each of you fills out your own version first, because the single most common failure here is that the two of you have completely different definitions of the word emergency and have never once said them out loud.
When it’s finished, make it findable. A photo of the completed page in both phones, one printed copy in the student’s desk drawer, and one on the refrigerator at home.
Step 1 — Student, Alone (10 Minutes)
Fill this out yourself. Some of it will require looking things up on your school’s website, which is exactly the point — looking them up now means you already know where they are.
Situations where I would definitely want you called
Situations where I would want to handle it myself first, then tell you
The friend on campus you should contact if you can’t reach me — name and number
My RA’s name and how to reach them
My hall, room number, and the housing office number
My campus counseling center — phone, hours, and where it is
My campus health center or nearest urgent care, and the nearest ER
Campus police — emergency and non-emergency numbers
Where my insurance card, medication list, and allergy information live
Step 2 — Parent(s), Alone (10 Minutes, No Peeking)
Write your honest definitions before you read theirs.
Situations where I would absolutely want to be called, no matter the hour
Situations where I would want to be told, but the next day is fine
What I would want to happen if I could not reach you for a full day
Who else in the family should be reachable, and their numbers
Insurance details my student needs to have — carrier, policy number, and the card
Anything medical the campus should know — conditions, medications, allergies
What I want my student to know about asking for help before it’s a crisis
Step 3 — The Discussion (20 Minutes, Together)
Trade pages. Same four rules — read aloud in turns, no interrupting, ask what’s behind that? before countering, thirty minutes maximum and then the revisit box.
Two things worth settling explicitly during this conversation, because they are where families get stuck.
- The amnesty conversation. Most campuses have a medical amnesty or good-samaritan policy, meaning a student who calls for help for themselves or a friend in an alcohol or drug situation is not disciplined for it. Look up your school’s version together and read it out loud. Then the parent says the part that matters — if you ever have to choose between getting someone help and getting in trouble with me, get them help. That sentence has saved lives and it costs nothing to say.
- The privacy reality. Once your student is enrolled and eighteen, the school generally cannot discuss records with a parent, though a health or safety emergency is specifically carved out. Decide now whether you want a release or proxy access on file. Chapter 15 has the details.
Where our definitions of emergency did not match
What we decided about medical amnesty and calling for help
REVISIT BOX — what we could not settle today, and when we’ll come back to it
Step 4 — The Agreement (Fill Out Together)
One copy, written together, then photographed into both phones.
Call home immediately for
Tell home within a day for
Handle it first, then mention it
Our urgent signal in both directions
Campus police (emergency and non-emergency)
Campus 24-hour crisis line
Counseling center
988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (call or text, any hour, family members too)
Health center, nearest urgent care, nearest ER
Housing office and RA
Student’s emergency contact on campus — name and number
Insurance carrier, policy number, and where the card is
Medications, conditions, and allergies
What the parent will do before asking for a welfare check
Student signature and date
Parent signature and date