THE SHARED PAGES — FILL THESE OUT TOGETHER

Shared Page 1

The Money Page

The October money fight happens because nobody ever said the numbers out loud. This page is forty minutes that prevents it.

This is the worksheet Chapter 13 sends you to, and it only works if you follow the order. Do not skip to the discussion. The whole value of this page is that each of you writes down your ideal version before you hear the other person’s. Families who compare two honest drafts have a conversation. Families who talk first have a negotiation where the louder person wins.

Print two copies, or photocopy the student pages, so you each have your own. Total time is about forty minutes and it should happen before move-in, ideally in July.

Step 1 — Student, Alone (10 Minutes)

Fill this out by yourself, honestly, before anyone else sees it. Write what you actually think would work, not what you think will be approved. This is a draft, not a request.

Then settle where it lands, because this one decision makes everything else on this page easier. The money should arrive in a checking account in your own name, with a debit card attached. Not cash you carry, not a parent’s card you borrow, not a balance floating inside one app. A checking account is the only setup where every single thing you spend leaves a record you can look at afterward, which is exactly what the weekly glance in Chapter 8 is checking. It is also the account Apple Pay, Cash App, Venmo, and your campus account all link to, so a phone tap and a card swipe end up in the same place instead of four different places. One account, one record, one number.

Step 2 — Parent(s), Alone (10 Minutes, No Peeking)

Same rules. Fill this out before you read your student’s page. Write real numbers, including the ones that are uncomfortable to say.

Then settle where it lands, because it is the piece that makes the rest of this page work. A checking account in your student’s own name, with a debit card attached, is the simplest system there is. You replenish it on the schedule you chose above, they spend from it, and every transaction leaves a record either of you can look at later — which is what makes their weekly money check take thirty seconds instead of thirty minutes. Apple Pay, Cash App, Venmo and the campus account all link to that one account, so the phone taps and the card swipes land in the same ledger. Decide the visibility question on purpose while you’re here, because a joint account and a parent view are different things, and both are far easier to set up in August than in October.

Step 3 — The Discussion (20 Minutes, Together)

Now trade pages. Four rules, and they are what keeps this from becoming the October fight early.

1. Read each section aloud in turns. Student reads their answer, then parent reads theirs, then move to the next line. Reading aloud slows everything down on purpose.
2. No interrupting. Let the whole answer finish, including the part you disagree with.
3. Ask what’s behind that? before countering. Every time. Most gaps on this page turn out to be information problems rather than value problems — one person knows what a textbook costs and the other doesn’t.
4. Thirty minutes maximum. If you’re not done, put the leftovers in the revisit box and stop. Nothing good has ever been decided in minute forty-five of a money conversation.

Step 4 — The Agreement (Fill Out Together)

One copy, written together, in whatever handwriting. This is the version that settles arguments in October, so be specific and use real numbers.